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Period Tips, Help & Advice / Claire Blackmore

Say What?! 19 Stupid Sayings We Use For Periods

Here at Pink Parcel we like to call a spade a spade, or should we say a period a period. We reckon life gets complicated enough without having to reel off a dictionary of alternative words every time we’re bleeding.

But it seems talking in code about our periods is more common than we thought. In a recent survey by our sister brand betty, it was revealed that only 12% of the women asked don’t use an euphemism for talking about their periods.

That’s a lot of us calling it something else, right? So on the back of that news, we thought we’d dig out some of the most popular sayings for periods ­– giving the most stoopid a gentle diss as we go.

Some are old, some are just weird, but we’ll admit that some are kinda funny too. Just promise us one thing. If you ever hear the guys in your life utter these silly-isms, feel free to lose your rag, especially if you’re on the rag.

Flowering

Kinda sweet, but the last time we looked it wasn’t all roses.

Aunt Flo

She’s visiting again? Sigh.

Strawberry sauce 

Nooooo. Why ruin your summertime Mr Whippy with this idea.

Time of the month

You might as well just say period. There isn’t anybody not understanding what this means.

Jamming

As in Bob Marley jamming? Or old-ladies-at-the-church-fete jamming? Who knows?

Riding the cotton pony

Aw, this sounds like we’re galloping along on some fluffy My Little Pony creature. What it really means = sitting on a tampon. Charming.

Red army

They’re on your side. All good.

Checking in to the Red Roof Hotel

Ooh. Do you think there’s room service and a mini bar?

Monthly visitor

Or the visitor that comes every 24 to 35 days is probably more accurate.

Lady time

Does this mean we get to wear bonnets and long gloves and sit around with parasols every month. Hope so.

Surfing the crimson wave

Surfing’s cool. In Oz, or Sri Lanka, or Cornwall even. But on a giant wave of fresh period blood? We’ll pass thanks.

Bloody Mary

Our favorite drink no more.

On the blob

Just one neat blob? If only.

Shark week

So we’re ready to bite someone’s head off? Or is it that a visit to the loo looks like a shark attack in action? Unsure. Maybe both. 

Having the painters in

Who’d paint their whole house red anyway? Maybe just a feature wall.

Girl flu

Incorrect, for biological reasons. We all know flu happens up top, girl stuff down below.

Leak week

Yes, in a nutshell but not too much leaking we hope. Eek.

T.O.M’s in town

Who the hell is Tom? And why is he so special? Ohhh geddit. Time. Of. Month.

Stopping at a red light

Errhm…we don’t let periods stop us doing anything, thanks. Unless we’re stopping everything to lie around in our Pjs. Then it’s our choice and perfectly fine.

If you haven’t signed up to Pink Parcel yet, it’s time to start enjoying your period! Subscribe here and you’ll have everything you need (and want) sent directly to your door.


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