Select your country

Periods / Claire Blackmore

39 Thoughts You Have When Your Period Takes You By Surprise

1. Oh, hey you.

2. Why am I always a tiny bit shocked when you turn up?

3. It’s not like we haven’t been in a long term relationship for, like, ever.

4. Trust you to come when I don’t have any tampons in my handbag.

5. But I always have tampons in my handbag.

6. Like when they fall out on the bus.

7. Or in front of a first date.

8. Or when I pull one out in a meeting because I think it’s a pen.

9. Got to remember pens aren’t small and fat.

10. Also, got to stop confusing pens with tampons in front of colleagues.

11. Crap, I still haven’t solved my tampon dilemma and am now in danger of bleeding through jeans.

12. Where’s the nearest toilet?

13. I hate public toilets.

14. This thin and quite rough toilet roll could work if I use 10 sheets and fold them up neatly, right?

15. This feels like a weird adult nappy.

16. Still, it’s not for long. Must. Find. Shop.

17. Shame I have to walk (sorry, waddle) to find said shop.

18. Why can’t people train carrier pigeons to bring them to me?

19. Or Leonardo DiCaprio.

20. Would that be nice?

21. Would I rather meet him whilst sitting on the toilet or never meet him at all?

22. THE DILEMMA.

23. Oooh, a shop!

24. Tampons: seen. They’re non-applicator though.

25. I don’t normally do non-applicator.

26. It’s fine, these are desperate times.

27. My hands are clean.

28. Or are they?

29. Maybe I should buy some bubblegum-scented hand sanitiser just incase.

30. Good decision.

31. I’m doing well.

32. Now all I need to do is pay, go back to the toilet where Leo may or may not be waiting for me and insert shiny new tampon.

33. Where’s my purse?

34. It was in my handbag.

35. Did it also fall out on the bus?

36. Oh no, here it is.

37. Doesn’t quite feel like my normal purse though.

38. Why is it small and fat?

39. *pulls out tampon*

If you haven’t signed up to Pink Parcel yet, it’s time to start enjoying your period! Subscribe here and you’ll have everything you need (and want) sent directly to your door.


You might also like...


Periods

Period Sex: Can You Have Sex On Your Period?

The short answer is: yes – why not? Providing those doing the deed are happy and comfortable with the concept of period...

Periods

What Is PMS And How Do I Handle It?

PMS is officially known as Premenstrual Syndrome. Unofficially though, you may know it as: “my period is about to start and I...

Periods

Which Teas Help With PMS Symptoms?

Do you suffer when your period’s due? We know, it’s the worst, but what if we told you to sit back, relax and...

Periods

The Period Pictures That Help To Normalise Bleeding

Bleeding is normal, natural and healthy, but there’s still a long way to go before period pictures are accepted and all the...

X
chevron-right instagram twitter facebook-f snapchat youtube pintrest Magnifing glass User icon Envelope icon